<h2 id="id00887" style="margin-top: 4em">CHAPTER IX</h2>
<h5 id="id00888">A GREAT CHANGE</h5>
<p id="id00889" style="margin-top: 3em">Next morning Mux had hardly opened his eyes when he desired to go again
straightway to Cornelli, for this had been promised him the night
before. Before he succeeded, however, he had to submit to his usual
fate in the morning. He ran into the room at last, neatly washed and
combed and with cheeks shining like two red apples. Cornelli was already
sitting in a corner of the room, listening attentively to Agnes'
playing. He flew towards her and saw his beloved book already in her
hands.</p>
<p id="id00890">"Oh, now we shall read and tell stories all day long," he called out
happily. "All the others have to go to school."</p>
<p id="id00891">But Mux had forgotten that breakfast came first of all. After the meal
the two sisters departed, but Dino knocked and clamored for Cornelli
to come to him. Mux loudly protested against this and only calmed down
when Cornelli promised to keep him company during Dino's rest hour.
He kept on objecting and murmuring to himself even after she had gone.</p>
<p id="id00892">Cornelli was quite thrilled and overcome by the thought that anybody
should love her so, and it did her more good than anything else. As
soon as she came to Dino's room he asked her if she would read to him,
too, for he had found out how much she enjoyed reading to Mux out of
his picture book.</p>
<p id="id00893">"Have you entertaining books, too?" asked Cornelli with hesitation.
In her mind she saw her own beautiful books at home, that she had left
alone because so many things in them had been unintelligible.</p>
<p id="id00894">"I should say so! You just ought to see them," said Dino. "Please take
down the book called 'Funny Journeys.' There are pictures in it, too.
They are not as big as in the other book and are not colored, but they
are so comical that they make one laugh all the time."</p>
<p id="id00895">Cornelli got the book down, and in a little while merry peals of
laughter filled the room. The mother, who heard, was happily smiling
and saying to herself: "No, no, all is not yet lost."</p>
<p id="id00896">So the week passed by. Cornelli spent most of her time reading aloud
to Dino and to Mux. She grew more eager all the time in this occupation,
and if Mux would suddenly want to play with soldiers, Cornelli would
say: "You can easily play that alone. Let me read this and later I'll
tell you all about it." So she had soon finished reading the whole big
book.</p>
<p id="id00897">Cornelli had so far scarcely become acquainted with the two girls, and<br/>
Nika had rarely spoken to her. On Saturday morning the mother entered<br/>
Dino's room just after Cornelli had finished reading such a funny tale<br/>
that both children still laughed aloud at the remembrance.<br/></p>
<p id="id00898">"Children, to-morrow Cornelli's father is expecting to hear from me.
He will want to know if he is to come to fetch her home, or if he is
to leave her here another week. Cornelli herself shall decide, but we
all want her to stay."</p>
<p id="id00899">"Don't go, don't go! Tell him not to come for a long while," Mux
implored her. The little boy had slipped in behind his mother and was
keeping a tight hold on Cornelli, as if her papa might come at once
to pull her away.</p>
<p id="id00900">"No, no, Cornelli, you won't go away yet," Dino now said. "To-morrow
I am allowed to get up for the first time and you must be there to see
if I can still walk. After that you must stay here till I go to school;
won't you, Cornelli? You don't want to go, do you?"</p>
<p id="id00901">"You must not urge her too much," said the mother. "Maybe Cornelli
would rather go home, and by your talking you might keep her from
saying so." But being urged by the two children was such a joy to
Cornelli that she never even hesitated.</p>
<p id="id00902">"I should love to stay," she said.</p>
<p id="id00903">"Oh, how splendid!" Dino exclaimed. "Please ask for at least two or
three weeks, Mama. It is so nice to have Cornelli with us."</p>
<p id="id00904">"I shall ask Cornelli's father to let us have his daughter a while
longer," said the mother, "I cannot possibly settle the time, her
father will do that."</p>
<p id="id00905">"Oh, yes, a while longer is just right. Then it is so easy to ask for
a little more time, for we can say that we meant that by a little
longer," said Dino.</p>
<p id="id00906">The same day, later on, while Dino was resting, Cornelli was sitting
with Mux. They were both so happy over the prospect of remaining
together that Mux opened the piano and asked Cornelli to sing with
him. Cornelli could not play, so promised that she would try to sing.
She asked Mux to choose a song, but he knew none.</p>
<p id="id00907">"You sing one," he proposed, "and I might know it, too."</p>
<p id="id00908">Cornelli was just in the mood to sing once more. She began a song with
her bright, full voice and Mux listened admiringly.</p>
<p id="id00909"> The snow's on the meadow,<br/>
The snow's all around,<br/>
The snow lies in heaps<br/>
All over the ground.<br/>
Hurrah, oh hurrah!<br/>
All over the ground.<br/></p>
<p id="id00910"> Oh cuckoo from the woods,<br/>
Oh flowers so bright,<br/>
Oh, kindliest sun,<br/>
Come and bring us delight!<br/>
Hurrah, oh hurrah!<br/>
Come and bring us delight!<br/></p>
<p id="id00911"> When the swallow comes back<br/>
And the finches all sing,<br/>
I sing and I dance<br/>
For joy of the Spring.<br/>
Hurrah, oh hurrah!<br/>
For joy of the Spring.<br/></p>
<p id="id00912">Suddenly the door flew open and Agnes burst into the room.</p>
<p id="id00913">"But why didn't you ever say anything?" she cried out. "To think of
it! Why did you never say a word, Cornelli?"</p>
<p id="id00914">"But what should I have said?" Cornelli asked, very much frightened.</p>
<p id="id00915">"You must not be afraid," Mux now calmed her, "I'll help you, if she
should want to hurt you."</p>
<p id="id00916">"Don't be so unnaturally stupid, Mux!" his sister ejaculated as she
ran to the next room. Here her mother was already standing in the open
door. "Have you heard it, Mother? Come out and let Cornelli sing her
song again!"</p>
<p id="id00917">"Yes, indeed! I have heard it with pleasure and great wonder," said
the mother, approaching Cornelli. "You have a voice, dear child, that
we all should love to hear again. Have you often sung before?"</p>
<p id="id00918">"Oh yes," said Cornelli. "Martha has taught me many songs, but—"</p>
<p id="id00919">"What do you mean by but?" Agnes quickly interrupted her. "I know now
what a voice you have. I have to go quickly to my music lesson, but
you must sing a lot with me to-night. No buts will be allowed then."</p>
<p id="id00920">"Oh, Cornelli, won't you sing with us tonight?" asked the mother kindly.
"We know now how well it sounds, and I do not see why you should still
hesitate."</p>
<p id="id00921">"I can't sing properly when I am afraid, for then it does not sound
well," Cornelli replied.</p>
<p id="id00922">"Why should you be afraid?" asked the mother. "You know us all so well
now."</p>
<p id="id00923">"Oh, because I am not like Agnes and Nika. I can't do anything they
do and I don't look the way they do," said Cornelli. With these words
she frowned again in the old way, so that one could see it through the
thick fringes of hair that covered her forehead.</p>
<p id="id00924">The mother said no more and went out.</p>
<p id="id00925">"Just stay with me, Cornelli; then you don't have to be afraid of
anything," Mux said protectingly. "I am afraid of nothing in the whole
world—except of the dark," he added quickly, for he had seen Cornelli's
penetrating eyes looking at him through her hair, and felt that he had
to tell the truth, for she was sure to find him out. "No," he continued,
"I won't be even afraid of that if you stay with me all the time."</p>
<p id="id00926">Agnes had finished her school work sooner than ever that day. She ran
to the piano and called to Cornelli: "Come here! Mux can play alone,
for we must sing now."</p>
<p id="id00927">So Cornelli went up to the piano.</p>
<p id="id00928">"I shall sing the first stanza of this song and then you can sing it
with me the second time," Agnes said and began: "The beauteous moon
is risen."</p>
<p id="id00929">"Oh, I have known that song a long time. Shall I sing the second voice?"
asked Cornelli.</p>
<p id="id00930">"What? Can you really sing second voice? Can you really do it? Oh,
that would be wonderful! Go ahead and do it!" said Agnes excitedly.</p>
<p id="id00931">So the two girls sang alone together, for Nika had not finished her
work, and the regular time for the evening songs had not yet come.
Agnes was radiantly happy while she was making experiments with a new
voice.</p>
<p id="id00932">Nika was still absorbed in her work, the mother only entered the room
now and then, and as Agnes was singing with her, Cornelli did not have
the feeling that anybody was listening. So she sang quite freely and
let her whole, full voice flow out. Agnes became more eager all the
time, and it really sounded as if a whole chorus were singing in the
room.</p>
<p id="id00933">At last the mother stood still, and Nika, lifting her head from her
work, listened, too.</p>
<p id="id00934">When the song was done, Agnes clapped her hands and said: "Oh, Cornelli,<br/>
your voice is as clear as a bell! Oh, if I only had a voice like that!<br/>
What wonderful things I could sing then! Do you know many songs,<br/>
Cornelli? Just tell me all you know."<br/></p>
<p id="id00935">Cornelli looked over the song book before her. She knew quite a number
of the songs in it, for Martha had taught her many.</p>
<p id="id00936">Agnes was in raptures: "Oh, now our evening songs won't be like a
feeble chirping any more; now everything, everything will be different!"
she cried out. Suddenly struck with a new idea, she ran over to her
other music books.</p>
<p id="id00937">She got a book of songs for two voices, which she had only been able
to use at her music lessons and never at home, for Nika could not join
her. "Come, Cornelli, try to sing after me now. This is your part, and
when you know it, I'll sing mine. Here are your notes," she instructed
Cornelli, and with that she began to sing.</p>
<p id="id00938">Cornelli did not know the notes very well, because Mr. Maelinger had
not instructed her very deeply in that subject. Her ear, however, was
correct, and she could immediately repeat a melody. Agnes began with
the easiest songs, and it did not take Cornelli any time to learn them.
She soon knew where to pause and where to take up her part again. So
a second piece was started and soon a third. Then they repeated them
all again and before long they could sing three songs quite well.</p>
<p id="id00939">"Once more, once more," Agnes urged her. It went better every time,
and in the end they sang together perfectly. Agnes jumped up from her
seat and exclaimed: "Oh, you are a wonderful Cornelli! Who would have
thought it? Please do not go home yet. Stay here, and then we can sing
together every day. Have you heard it, Mama?"</p>
<p id="id00940">The mother affirmed it and told them that she and Dino had both enjoyed
the singing. Dino had asked to have his door kept open, for he had
wanted to hear it all.</p>
<p id="id00941">"Do you know what we'll do, Cornelli?" said Agnes. "To-morrow morning
we'll study a festive duet. We shall greet Dino with it when he comes
back to this room again for the first time."</p>
<p id="id00942">Cornelli gladly agreed.</p>
<p id="id00943">It was time now for their accustomed evening song, which had been put
off longer than usual that day. Agnes was of the decided opinion that
it was not suitable to end this day with a mild evening song. She
suggested a loud hymn of praise and thanks. She started it with
enthusiasm, and all the others soon joined.</p>
<p id="id00944">The unexpected joy and great friendliness Agnes had shown had made
Cornelli so happy and astonished that she sat a long time on her bed
in the little room. She was wondering to herself why she could never
be quite happy in spite of everybody's goodness, but she knew soon
enough why this was so. Her old fear had not left her. She fully
realized that she looked different from other children and that her
horns would get worse, till they could not be hidden any more. Then
everybody would think what Mux had thought, even if they did not say
it.</p>
<p id="id00945">Next morning, when Cornelli had just gotten up, Mrs. Halm entered her
room. "Cornelli," she said, taking the child's hand, "you have made
us all so happy! You have done much for Dino by helping him to pass
many pleasant hours, and you have entertained my little restless Mux
so wonderfully that he can hardly live without you any more. I should
like to do something for you now; I should love to make you look festive
to-day and get rid forever of everything that disfigures you."</p>
<p id="id00946">The mother had already begun to smooth out the child's thick hair.</p>
<p id="id00947">"Oh no, oh no, please don't do it!" Cornelli cried out, "then everything
will be lost. I want to go home, oh, I must go home! Oh, they will all
laugh at me and they won't like me any more. Oh, you don't know how
it is."</p>
<p id="id00948">"I know everything, dear child," the mother said quietly. "Dino has
told me everything. Don't you know, child, that I love you? You know,
Cornelli, that I would not do anything that might hurt you the least
bit, or that would not help you. I want to free you from an error,
Cornelli."</p>
<p id="id00949">"No, no, it is not an error, surely not," Cornelli called out in her
great anxiety. "My cousin said it and Miss Grideelen said it, too.
They saw it, and I know it. Oh, please don't brush my hair away."</p>
<p id="id00950">"Cornelli," the mother went on calmly, "the ladies told you they saw
little horns on your forehead, that got bigger every time you wrinkled
up your brow. You are afraid that this is really so and that it is
getting worse. You understood it in a way they did not mean. They only
wanted to tell you that when you frowned you looked as if you had horns
on your forehead, and they said it to keep you from frowning. They
meant well by you, but you misunderstood them. But you can understand
me. Just let me help you to be happy again.</p>
<p id="id00951">"Have you any confidence in me, Cornelli? Tell me, do you think that
I would do anything that would make you repulsive in the eyes of
everyone? Do you believe that? I know you don't, child!" Cornelli only
groaned a little.</p>
<p id="id00952">With nimble hands the mother had in the meantime kept on smoothing and
combing the child's heavy hair. It already lay beautifully parted on
both sides of her face. The brown, wavy hair framed a snow-white brow,
for not a ray of sunshine had penetrated through the hair all summer
long. The mother finished the two heavy tresses and wound them about
Cornelli's head like a crown. Smilingly the mother looked into
Cornelli's face. The great change had thrilled her with joy.</p>
<p id="id00953">"Now come with me to the children. We shall see if they can notice any
change," she said, and taking the little girl's hand, she led her away.
Cornelli was extremely glad to enter the room at the mother's side,
for she would not have dared to go alone. When the door opened, she
looked shyly at the floor.</p>
<p id="id00954">Mux had already been waiting for his companion and now ran to meet
her. "What have you done, Cornelli?" he cried out in sudden surprise.
"Your forehead looks quite clean and neat, and you have shiny eyes
like a canary bird, and you don't look like an owl any more."</p>
<p id="id00955">"Why Cornelli! You are transformed!" Agnes exclaimed. "Just let me see
you. Make a little room, Mux! No, I don't know you any more. It is
fortunate you did it, for it is a pleasure to look at you now."</p>
<p id="id00956">"Your mother has done it," Cornelli explained confusedly, for she was
quite overcome at all these manifestations of joy.</p>
<p id="id00957">Nika also glanced up at her. "You are a different child, Cornelli, and<br/>
I do not see how you could ever have gotten the way you were."<br/></p>
<p id="id00958">These words were said in such a charming manner that a deep sensation
of well-being filled Cornelli. She tried to fight against it, however,
for she did not think it possible that she should suddenly become freed
from her horrible, sickening fear.</p>
<p id="id00959">Agnes was very anxious to practice their song for the festive reception
of the newly risen Dino, and Cornelli, too, was filled with ardor. The
two children kept up their singing quite a while, for Agnes could not
weary of trying the songs for two voices which she had never before
been able to use.</p>
<p id="id00960">Dino did not come until lunch time. Though he was still very pale, he
felt extremely lively. "Hurrah, Cornelli!" he cried out as he entered
the living room. "Now you look again the way you used to in Iller-Stream
when you forgot to pull your curtains over your brow. You even look
better than that, Cornelli, you look perfectly splendid! Another hurrah
for this great joy!"</p>
<p id="id00961">The next moment a surprise came for Dino: the lovely festive song which
Agnes and Cornelli were singing in his honor. The voice of the latter
was full of purity and strength, and Dino kept on signalling to Nika
over and over again, saying in a low voice: "Do you hear it? Do you
see it? Do you notice it at last?"</p>
<p id="id00962">It was quite evident that two had not been of the same opinion about<br/>
Cornelli till that day.<br/></p>
<p id="id00963">So they all had a merry feast. In Cornelli's heart the feeling of
delicious well-being gradually began to drive away all other sensations.
Her old gaiety broke forth boundlessly and roused all the others as
well to great merriment and joy. Dino looked quite well again, and his
eyes fairly beamed with happiness. Even the mother joined in their gay
mood, and she had to glance over and over again at her two daughters,
who had seldom shown such unclouded joy. She heaved a secret sigh,
however, and asked herself: I wonder how long this happiness will last,
for we have hard times before us.</p>
<p id="id00964">"Wasn't I right, after all?" Dino said to his sisters, when Cornelli
had retired and the family separated at bedtime. The sisters till now
had made disparaging remarks to him about Cornelli. "We do not see
what attracts you in her," they had said. "We don't understand how you
can find her entertaining," and so on.</p>
<p id="id00965">When Cornelli was alone in her room that night, she felt as in a dream.
What had happened to her? Was it really true that the great sorrow
which had weighed on her and had taken all her joy away had forever
disappeared? The mother had told her firmly that it had been an error,
and the children had proved it to be so by their reception of her. So
she could be happy again as she had always been. Cornelli was filled
with joy and praise to God at this thought.</p>
<p id="id00966">"How wonderfully God has led me," she said in her heart. She remembered
how anxiously she had prayed to Him to prevent her from being sent to
town. Now she had come to town, but in such a different way from what
she had feared! She had been freed from her trouble by going away.
Martha had certainly been right and she would always try to remember
this. In the future she would pray to God that she might do everything
according to His will, and she made up her mind that she would never
again try to force the fulfilment of her own wishes. She felt that she
owed the good Lord in Heaven especial praises, so she lay down to sleep
quite late, and because of her happiness, even stayed awake a long
time after her prayers were said.</p>
<p id="id00967">"I have to tell you something, Cornelli," said the mother next day,
when all the family was peacefully gathered around the supper table.
"You know that I have written to your father asking him to let you
stay here a little longer. He has answered me, saying that he would
be very pleased if his little daughter could stay with us for a year
and could take all the lessons that my daughters are taking; but he
leaves you free to decide about it. So you must write to your father
to let him know the answer to his proposal.</p>
<p id="id00968">"Oh, you must stay here, Cornelli. Won't you please stay?" Dino
exclaimed. "Then you can be here till summer time and we two can go
back to Iller-Stream together, for it is quite settled that I am going
again to our good old Martha."</p>
<p id="id00969">"And I'll go, too," Mux said with conviction. "Do you know, Cornelli,"
he whispered into her ear, "I'll stay with you all the time in your
own house and Dino can go alone to old Martha."</p>
<p id="id00970">Agnes was simply enchanted with this new prospect. "Oh, how wonderful,
how wonderful!" she exclaimed over and over again. "Now we can have
singing lessons together and sing again at home. Oh, that is too
wonderful!"</p>
<p id="id00971">Nika also begged Cornelli to stay. "I hope you will tell your father
that you intend to remain with us, Cornelli," she said. "We are only
just beginning to know you well."</p>
<p id="id00972">Cornelli's eyes sparkled with pleasure, for now the whole family wanted
to keep her with them. Suddenly a thought flashed through her. When
her father had threatened to send her to town for a year, she had been
terribly upset, and now the year spent in town with this family seemed
like pure pleasure. How different everything had been from what she
had thought and feared.</p>
<p id="id00973">"I should love to stay here!" she exclaimed with deep emotion. "Can
I write to Papa now?" That suited Mrs. Halm exactly. Sitting down
beside Cornelli, she also wrote to Mr. Hellmut, and both letters were
sent at once.</p>
<p id="id00974">Two days later Mr. Hellmut was sitting at the breakfast table, looking
at his mail. First of all he opened a fat envelope which had come to
him from town. There were two letters in it which caused him great
surprise. Mrs. Halm wrote that all the members of her family had
joyfully received his proposal to leave Cornelli with them for a longer
stay. She told him that they had all become so fond of Cornelli that
she would have left behind a feeling of real loss.</p>
<p id="id00975">Cornelli's letter read as follows:</p>
<h5 id="id00976">DEAR PAPA:</h5>
<p id="id00977">I should love to stay here, for the mother and all the children are
very good to me, and I love them dearly. I should also like to learn
lots and lots of things. Nika and Agnes know so much and are so clever,
and I should be so glad to learn what they know. I shall be unspeakably
happy if you will let me stay. Please give my love to Martha, Esther,
and Matthew.</p>
<h5 id="id00978"> YOUR CORNELLI.</h5>
<p id="id00979">After reading the letters, the Director shook his head. "What on earth
has happened?" he said to himself. "A few weeks have hardly passed
since they told me that this child could not be set to rights, and I
have myself seen how stubborn she was and how strangely she behaved.
And what a change already! However, I must not take literally what has
probably been written in a moment of excitement."</p>
<p id="id00980">Mr. Hellmut was very glad about Cornelli's intention to remain in town,
for thus his greatest care had been taken from him. A lovely woman,
who with her children had made a most favorable impression on him, had
promised to devote herself to his child, and he only wondered how long
the present arrangement would last.</p>
<p id="id00981">Mrs. Halm had soon arranged a regular course of studies for Cornelli.
Agnes was very anxious for her to start music lessons right away, for
she thought that that was the most important thing. Cornelli herself
was eager to do this, for she wanted to learn everything that Nika and
Agnes were learning. So she threw herself with fresh energy into all
the fields of study that were opened to her.</p>
<p id="id00982">Dino also was going to school, for he had entirely recovered. Every
morning the four children started out gaily, talking eagerly while
they walked down the street, until they finally separated for their
various schools. If they met again on their way home, they were still
more lively, for they would tell each other all their experiences.
Cornelli surpassed them all in that respect. She had the talent of
describing everything in such a funny and vivid fashion that she made
them all laugh.</p>
<p id="id00983">Mux alone was unhappy in these days, for he had lost his beloved
companion. Full of anger, he would meet the four laughing school
children when they were coming up the stairs and would say: "If I owned
all the schools I would certainly burn them."</p>
<p id="id00984">"But I hope not all the teachers, too, Mux," said Dino, "for then one
would have to tell an even worse tale about you than you were telling
about Agnes."</p>
<p id="id00985">The door between Cornelli's and the sisters' room was always open now,
for they all had wished it. There was not a single evening on which
they did not make use of the last moment for talking to each other
about their mutual interests.</p>
<p id="id00986">Cornelli was filled with admiration for Nika and for everything she
did. She could not understand how Nika, who was so lovely and could
do such wonderful things, could have a sorrow. She had never forgotten
about it, because she had often noticed that the young girl suffered
from some grief.</p>
<p id="id00987">Even Agnes often stopped laughing quite suddenly. She would say: "Yes,
Cornelli, it is easy for you to be jolly. It is easy for you." So
Cornelli knew that Agnes also carried a care about with her. When Agnes
frowned and made dreadful wrinkles, Cornelli was quite sure that then
her sorrow was hurting her. She would have loved to help her, but she
had never asked her friends about it. She knew that she had been glad
when nobody had asked her about her own trouble.</p>
<p id="id00988">One day it happened that Agnes came home from her music lesson quite
upset and terribly excited. "Oh, Mama," she called from the door, "the
teacher has given us the pieces today which we have to play for our
examinations. He has given me the most difficult one, and while giving
it to me he said: 'I shall really make something fine out of you.'"</p>
<p id="id00989">Agnes was throwing her music sheets away as if they were her greatest
enemies; then she ran away to her room. There she threw herself down
on a chair and began to sob loudly. Cornelli had followed her, for she
was filled with sympathy. Putting her arms about Agnes, she said: "Tell
me, Agnes, what makes you cry. I know what it is like to have to cry
like that. But why do you do it now, when your teacher has just praised
you?"</p>
<p id="id00990">"What good is that to me?" Agnes burst out. "How does it help me to
play ever so well? What good would it ever do me even to practice day
and night? Nika and I can only keep on one year more, and then
everything is over. Then she can't paint any more and I can't have any
more music lessons, for we shall have to become dressmakers. We won't
even have time to go through the higher classes in school. I would a
thousand times rather travel through the world and sing in front of
the houses for pennies—yes, I'll do that!"</p>
<p id="id00991">"Can't your mother help you?" asked Cornelli, remembering the mother's
help in her own case.</p>
<p id="id00992">"No, she can't; and she is very unhappy herself. There is not a soul
on earth who could help us, for our guardian says that it just has to
be."</p>
<p id="id00993">Cornelli was quite crushed by this explanation, for now she understood
quite well why Nika often had such sad eyes. The hopeless prospect
made Cornelli's heart heavy, too. When Agnes had had such a passionate
outbreak, she did not regain her composure for several days. Then Nika
would not say a word, either, and the mother only looked very sadly
at her children.</p>
<p id="id00994">Then Dino also became silent, for he knew what tormented his mother
and his sisters. He would have loved to help them, but he knew no way.
So Cornelli could not laugh any more, either, and her friend's great
sorrow weighed on her, too, for she had experienced a heavy grief
herself and had not forgotten what it was like.</p>
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