Placid Pug, and Other Rhymes

<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> </SPAN></p> <br/> <h2> SONG FOR SIDLERS </h2> <p class="pfirst"> <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE Crab walks sideways, not because his build</p> <p class="indent5"> Precludes the possibility of walking straight,</p> <p>And not (as some have thought) that he is filled</p> <p class="indent5"> With strange and lawless theories on gait;</p> <p>Still less that he is foolishly self-willed</p> <p class="indent5"> And prone to show off or exaggerate.</p> <p><br/></p> <p>No serious student of his life and ways</p> <p class="indent5"> Will venture to impugn his common sense;</p> <p>His tact and moderation win high praise</p> <p class="indent5"> Even from those whose faculties are dense</p> <p>And blind to the false issues which they raise</p> <p class="indent5"> When they accuse him of malevolence.</p> <p><br/></p> <p>"But, ah!" these shallow hide-bound pedants cry,</p> <p class="indent5"> "If to the Crab all virtues you concede,</p> <p>If his intentions are not evil, why</p> <p class="indent5"> This sidelong walk,</p> <p><br/><br/></p> <p><SPAN name="linkimage-0012" id="linkimage-0012"> </SPAN></p> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG src="images/047m.jpg" alt="047m " width-obs="100%" /><br/></div> <p class="indent5"> These flanking steps that lead</p> <p>To no advancement of Humanity,</p> <p class="indent5"> No exaltation of the mortal breed?</p> <p><br/></p> <p>"Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?</p> <p class="indent5"> Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse</p> <p>Why this absurd and pitiable pose</p> <p class="indent5"> That takes delight in any devious course?</p> <p>Why this dislike to 'following the nose'</p> <p class="indent5"> Which all the best authorities endorse?"</p> <p><br/></p> <p>Insensate fools. Swims not the Cod in curves?</p> <p class="indent5"> Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound</p> <p>If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves,</p> <p class="indent5"> Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound</p> <p>Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves,</p> <p class="indent5"> Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?</p> <p><br/></p> <p>Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk,</p> <p class="indent5"> For reasons still impossible to see.</p> <p>And if his pride permitted him to talk</p> <p class="indent5"> To any one who did not do as he,</p> <p>His instinct would be, probably, to balk</p> <p class="indent5"> The hopes of vulgar curiosity.</p> <p><br/></p> <p>And while the schoolmen argue and discuss,</p> <p class="indent5"> And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys,"</p> <p>And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus,</p> <p class="indent5"> The crab will pulverise their theories,</p> <p>And put an end to all this foolish fuss</p> <p class="indent5"> By walking sideways into Paradise.</p> <p><br/><br/></p> <hr /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />