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<h2> Chapter Twenty-One—In Which I Leave Rivermouth </h2>
<p>A letter with a great black seal!</p>
<p>I knew then what had happened as well as I know it now. But which was it,
father or mother? I do not like to look back to the agony and suspense of
that moment.</p>
<p>My father had died at New Orleans during one of his weekly visits to the
city. The letter bearing these tidings had reached Rivermouth the evening
of my flight—had passed me on the road by the down train.</p>
<p>I must turn back for a moment to that eventful evening. When I failed to
make my appearance at supper, the Captain began to suspect that I had
really started on my wild tour southward—a conjecture which Sailor
Ben's absence helped to confirm. I had evidently got off by the train and
Sailor Ben had followed me.</p>
<p>There was no telegraphic communication between Boston and Rivermouth in
those days; so my grandfather could do nothing but await the result. Even
if there had been another mail to Boston, he could not have availed
himself of it, not knowing how to address a message to the fugitives. The
post-office was naturally the last place either I or the Admiral would
think of visiting.</p>
<p>My grandfather, however, was too full of trouble to allow this to add to
his distress. He knew that the faithful old sailor would not let me come
to any harm, and even if I had managed for the time being to elude him,
was sure to bring me back sooner or later.</p>
<p>Our return, therefore, by the first train on the following day did not
surprise him.</p>
<p>I was greatly puzzled, as I have said, by the gentle manner of his
reception; but when we were alone together in the sitting-room, and he
began slowly to unfold the letter, I understood it all. I caught a sight
of my mother's handwriting in the superscription, and there was nothing
left to tell me.</p>
<p>My grandfather held the letter a few seconds irresolutely, and then
commenced reading it aloud; but he could get no further than the date.</p>
<p>“I can't read it, Tom,” said the old gentleman, breaking down. “I thought
I could.”</p>
<p>He handed it to me. I took the letter mechanically, and hurried away with
it to my little room, where I had passed so many happy hours.</p>
<p>The week that followed the receipt of this letter is nearly a blank in my
memory. I remember that the days appeared endless; that at times I could
not realize the misfortune that had befallen us, and my heart upbraided me
for not feeling a deeper grief; that a full sense of my loss would now and
then sweep over me like an inspiration, and I would steal away to my
chamber or wander forlornly about the gardens. I remember this, but little
more.</p>
<p>As the days went by my first grief subsided, and in its place grew up a
want which I have experienced at every step in life from boyhood to
manhood. Often, even now, after all these years, when I see a lad of
twelve or fourteen walking by his father's side, and glancing merrily up
at his face, I turn and look after them, and am conscious that I have
missed companionship most sweet and sacred.</p>
<p>I shall not dwell on this portion of my story. There were many tranquil,
pleasant hours in store for me at that period, and I prefer to turn to
them.</p>
<p>One evening the Captain came smiling into the sitting-room with an open
letter in his hand. My mother had arrived at New York, and would be with
us the next day. For the first time in weeks—years, it seemed to me—something
of the old cheerfulness mingled with our conversation round the evening
lamp. I was to go to Boston with the Captain to meet her and bring her
home. I need not describe that meeting. With my mother's hand in mine once
more, all the long years we had been parted appeared like a dream. Very
dear to me was the sight of that slender, pale woman passing from room to
room, and lending a patient grace and beauty to the saddened life of the
old house.</p>
<p>Everything was changed with us now. There were consultations with lawyers,
and signing of papers, and correspondence; for my father's affairs had
been left in great confusion. And when these were settled, the evenings
were not long enough for us to hear all my mother had to tell of the
scenes she had passed through in the ill-fated city.</p>
<p>Then there were old times to talk over, full of reminiscences of Aunt
Chloe and little Black Sam. Little Black Sam, by the by, had been taken by
his master from my father's service ten months previously, and put on a
sugar-plantation near Baton Rouge. Not relishing the change, Sam had run
away, and by some mysterious agency got into Canada, from which place he
had sent back several indecorous messages to his late owner. Aunt Chloe
was still in New Orleans, employed as nurse in one of the cholera hospital
wards, and the Desmoulins, near neighbors of ours, had purchased the
pretty stone house among the orange-trees.</p>
<p>How all these simple details interested me will be readily understood by
any boy who has been long absent from home.</p>
<p>I was sorry when it became necessary to discuss questions more nearly
affecting myself. I had been removed from school temporarily, but it was
decided, after much consideration, that I should not return, the decision
being left, in a manner, in my own hands.</p>
<p>The Captain wished to carry out his son's intention and send me to
college, for which I was nearly fitted; but our means did not admit of
this. The Captain, too, could ill afford to bear the expense, for his
losses by the failure of the New Orleans business had been heavy. Yet he
insisted on the plan, not seeing clearly what other disposal to make of
me.</p>
<p>In the midst of our discussions a letter came from my Uncle Snow, a
merchant in New York, generously offering me a place in his
counting-house. The case resolved itself into this: If I went to college,
I should have to be dependent on Captain Nutter for several years, and at
the end of the collegiate course would have no settled profession. If I
accepted my uncle's offer, I might hope to work my way to independence
without loss of time. It was hard to give up the long-cherished dream of
being a Harvard boy; but I gave it up.</p>
<p>The decision once made, it was Uncle Snow's wish that I should enter his
counting-house immediately. The cause of my good uncle's haste was this—he
was afraid that I would turn out to be a poet before he could make a
merchant of me. His fears were based upon the fact that I had published in
the Rivermouth Barnacle some verses addressed in a familiar manner “To the
Moon.” Now, the idea of a boy, with his living to get, placing himself in
communication with the Moon, struck the mercantile mind as monstrous. It
was not only a bad investment, it was lunacy.</p>
<p>'We adopted Uncle Snow's views so far as to accede to his proposition
forthwith. My mother, I neglected to say, was also to reside in New York.</p>
<p>I shall not draw a picture of Pepper Whitcomb's disgust when the news was
imparted to him, nor attempt to paint Sailor Ben's distress at the
prospect of losing his little messmate.</p>
<p>In the excitement of preparing for the journey I didn't feel any very deep
regret myself. But when the moment came for leaving, and I saw my small
trunk lashed up behind the carriage, then the pleasantness of the old life
and a vague dread of the new came over me, and a mist filled my eyes,
shutting out the group of schoolfellows, including all the members of the
Centipede Club, who had come down to the house to see me off.</p>
<p>As the carriage swept round the corner, I leaned out of the window to take
a last look at Sailor Ben's cottage, and there was the Admiral's flag
flying at half-mast.</p>
<p>So I left Rivermouth, little dreaming that I was not to see the old place
again for many and many a year.</p>
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