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Jill's Red Bag

[114] <div></div> <h2> IX </h2> TRYING TO BE "DOUBLE GOOD" "Are you going away?" It was Jack who spoke, and who stood at the door of Captain Willoughby's room, looking at the half-filled portmanteaus, and the general chaos of a man's quarters when he is on the point of departure. It was before breakfast, and being a rainy morning, Jack was wandering about the passages seeking for some occupation. Captain Willoughby looked up from his employment. He was vainly trying to strap a Gladstone bag, and was muttering imprecations under his breath. "Now then, young shaver, what do you want? You children are always turning up when you aren't desired. I have to thank your small sister yesterday for an interruption which proved disastrous!" Jack edged himself in, and climbed up to the iron foot-rail of the bed, where he sat swinging his legs. "Why are you going?" "You didn't really think I had taken up [115] my quarters here for good and all, did you?" Captain Willoughby's tone was distinctly irritable. "You needn't be waxy," said Jack cheekily. "There's one thing! I know you'll be back again before long!" "Shall I?" said the Captain, giving a vicious tug to his straps. "I shall volunteer to go out to India with the next draft; I'm sick of England." "Do tell me why you're so cross," said Jack earnestly, clasping his hands round his knees. Captain Willoughby had finished his task. He sat down upon his bag with a sigh of relief. "There! I shall leave my man to do the rest. The world is an utter failure, Jack, that's what it is!" "Is it?" said Jack innocently. "Yes," went on Captain Willoughby. "And it's the women who are at the bottom of it. They're all the same—unstable, uncertain, fickle, false, their moods change from day to day; they make you believe in them, and take you in all round, and then are quite surprised to see that you are taken aback by their complete change of tone and mind. It's a bad thing, my boy, to spend too much time with [116] women. Remember that when you grow up. You will rue the day you made their acquaintance." This dissertation was perfectly incomprehensible to Jack. He stared at the Captain with open eyes and mouth. Then he slipped down from his perch. "I'm sorry you're so put out," he said. "I suppose you're cross because you have to go away." Then he slipped out of the room, and confided to Jill that Captain Willoughby was awfully cross with everybody in the world, and that she had better keep out of his way. The children with their governess occasionally lunched in the dining-room, when there were no visitors. Jack looked around on this particular day before he commenced to eat. "There are five women," he announced; "and I'm the only man. It's a bad lookout for me!" "Why?" asked Mona, who had been sitting at the head of the table rather distrait and silent. "Because," said Jack slowly, "Captain Willoughby told me this morning that it is a bad thing to spend too much time with women." [117] Mona's cheeks flushed a deep crimson. Miss Webb glared at Jack through her pince-nez, and then Mona laughed outright. "I'm afraid your lot is cast amongst women for the present, Jack. When you are Captain Willoughby's age, I advise you to be careful how you cultivate their society." "Mona!" said Miss Webb warningly. "Oh yes," said Mona; "I mean it. And if a woman, Jack, gets tired of your company, and doesn't like the idea of spending all her life with you, take yourself off like a man, and don't be talking over your grievances with everybody you come across!" Jack said no more. His sister's words were like Captain Willoughby's, beyond his comprehension. Jill's walk to the Golden City was a very halting one. When she was put to bed at night she generally reviewed her path through the day, and sometimes Bumps was favoured with her confidences. "I've had an awful day," she admitted one night after a series of misdemeanours and punishments. "I meant to go as straight as—as a ruler, and I've gone all crooked. I always mean to behave, but things happen to make me forget!" [118] "Yeth," said Bumps a little virtuously. "You forgot when you dressed up the black cat in Annie's cap and apron that she alwayth goes in the coal cellar when she's frightened. And when Annie is croth, she's horrid! When you locked her up here becauth she said she'd tell Miss Falkner, I knew she'd bang at the door till she brought everybody up-stairs. I tolded you tho." "Well," said Jill, sighing; "when Miss Falkner gave me a column of spelling to learn as a punishment, I did mean to do it; but when I saw Sam pass through the garden, I just forgot all about it, and all I thought was that this was the day he got his money, and I must ask him again about his tenth—of course that was another crooked turn I took; and when Miss Falkner said she couldn't trust me I think Satan came up behind and pushed me down as hard as he could. For I don't remember what I called her! I only know I was in a passion." "You called her a beatht!" said Bumps in a shocked tone; "and Jack and I heard you, and Jack said he wouldn't never have called her that!" "And then I threw the spelling-book in the fire, and then I was sent to bed," pursued Jill [119] mournfully. "I wonder, Bumps, if you can make up for one bad day in the next. You see, if I was sent to walk two miles along a road, and I only did a little bit of a mile, and the rest of the time I went into crooked lanes and got myself into scrapes, I think the next day if I ran hard all day, and never stopped to sit down one minute, perhaps I could do the two miles I didn't do the day before, and two more besides." "Two and two make four," said Bumps complacently. "Will you try to-morrow, Jill?" "I think I will," said Jill. "I don't want to lose a day if I can help it." The next morning she remembered her resolve, and she added a silent petition to her morning prayer— "Oh God, please help me to run hard and very straight to-day. Keep me from tumbling, and let me make up for yesterday, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen." "Jill is going to be very, very good to-day," said Bumps confidentially to Jack. "Is she?" said Jack with interest. "Then I'll ask her to give me those stamps Captain Willoughby gave her the other day." Jill was taken aback by this request. [120] "They are mine, Jack. You know I'm beginning to collect them." "Yes, but it will be unkind if you don't give them to me, because I want them. You should try to please others before yourself, that's what Miss Falkner says." Jill did not see this. "I thought you were going to be double good to-day," said crafty Jack. "Yes," said Jill slowly; "but if you take them it will be unkind and selfish of you." "But I'm not trying to be good to-day like you," argued Jack, quite unabashed. "But I shall be making it easy for you to be wicked; I shall be helping you to do an unkind thing." They were in the thick of their argument when Miss Falkner came into the room, so they dropped it. Lessons were started, and progressed very smoothly. At twelve o'clock, when they were dismissed, Jill came to Jack, and put the stamps into his hand. "There they are," she said; "but I wouldn't be you for anything!" "I've helped you to be good," said Jack with the greatest satisfaction as he sat down at the school-room table and began to stick the stamps into his album at once. [121] Jill ran out into the garden. "Come and thwing me!" cried Bumps. "I can't, Bumps, I must try to do something wonderfully good." "What will you do?" asked Bumps curiously. "I don't know; I think I will get the Bible and find out." As quick in action as in thought, Jill darted into the house and soon returned with her Bible in her hand. For some minutes she turned over the leaves of it unsuccessfully, then an under-gardener passed her. Now this young man was a local chapel preacher, and Jill had heard some of the servants call him "a shining light." She looked up at him inquiringly. "Tom," she said, "what is the very goodest thing to do when you want to be really good?" Tom scratched his head. "'Tis God's Word will tell 'ee, Miss Jill. There be that sayin' of Apostle James—'Pure religion an' undefiled is to visit the widows and fatherless in their affliction, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.' 'Tisn't many that get beyond that!" "Thank you," said Jill in delight. "Please [122] show me the verse in case I may forget it." So Tom took her Bible in his hand and found it for her, then went on his way; and Jill began to formulate her plans with great rapidity. "'Unspotted from the world' means, of course, not to tumble down and dirty my frock on the way to the Golden City. That I'm trying to do hard, but I haven't visited any widows, and I know there are two or three in the village. That will be a lovely way of doing good. I will go at once." But alas for Jill! Mona was calling her to come and pick some flowers for her. For a minute she thought of running away, then her conscience told her— "That will not be running in a straight road," and she reluctantly obeyed her sister's call, and picked flowers till the bell rang for the school-room dinner. She was not free from lessons till four o'clock. Then, without saying a word to any one, she put on her hat and ran out of the house and down the long drive as fast as her legs could carry her. She knew one old widow by sight, but she had never been inside her cottage. She was rather shunned by her neighbours, [123] as she was a very dirty, thriftless woman, and earned her living by collecting rags and bones. Jill knocked at her door eagerly and breathlessly. The old woman poked her head out and looked at her crossly. "What do 'ee want?" "I've come to visit you." "Don't want no visits from plaguey children!" The door was banged in her face. Poor Jill retired discomfited. Then she thought of another widow who had lately lost her husband, a very respectable farmer. She lived at a farm some distance off, but distance was no detriment to Jill's purpose. Away she went; across fields and down lanes; getting more tired and heated every step she took. She found the young woman at her wash-tub. "May I come in and visit you?" asked Jill meekly. "Come in and welcome, miss. I think you be one of the little ladies belongin' to Miss Baron?" "Yes, I am," said Jill, seating herself on [124] a low stool with a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you will let me come in. Old Mrs. Jonas wouldn't!" "That old cat! Why, miss! you be never tryin' to visit her?" "I'm visiting all the widows I can find to-day," said Jill solemnly. "The Bible tells me to." Young Mrs. Drake put her apron to her eyes. "Aye, dearie me! My poor, dear husban'! To think that I be called a widder along wi' that old good-for-nothin' Mrs. Jonas! Oh, 'tis a cruel, wicked world, and hard on me that has allays done me duty an' attended church reg'lar!" "Don't cry, please," said Jill, only dimly understanding the drift of her words. "You can't help being a widow, you know. That's why I've come to see you. And I've come to see your children too, because it says the 'fatherless!'——" But at this Mrs. Drake began to sob afresh, and so violently that Jill felt quite alarmed. "So they be! 'Fatherless.' An' only last Wednesday three weeks he were a dandlin' of 'em on his knee. Oh, 'tis hard, 'tis cruel hard on a poor, single woman!" [125] A hard-featured woman put her head in at the door. "Why, Polly, what be 'ee makin' such a moan over?" Then seeing Jill, she stepped forward. Mrs. Drake sobbed the louder. "Little miss have been mindin' me that I'm a lone widder, and my chillen fatherless. So they be, the poor critturs, but 'tis hard to have it thrown up agen me! Ah, my poor dear husban'! Oh, Jim, Jim! why did 'ee leave me?" She began to beat her hands to and fro, and seemed to be hysterically inclined. "Run away," said the hard-featured woman. "You won't do no good here, missy. Poor soul! she has been well-nigh distracted, and I were hopin' she were gettin' over the worst of it, and now she be so bad as ever!" Jill crept out of the house feeling her visit had been a failure. As she gained the high-road again, she met Sir Henry Talbot, whom Bumps still called the "keeper." He was very good to the children, and stopped directly he saw her. "Hulloo!" he said. "Are you having another truant day? Are you all alone?" "I'm not truanting," said Jill. "I've been [126] looking for widows. Do you know any, Sir Henry?" He laughed. "I do. Now, what the dickens do you want widows for? Tell me, and I'll help you." Jill hesitated. "You won't laugh at me?" "On my honour, no." "I'm trying to be double-good to-day, so I'm visiting them, like the Bible says we must." Sir Henry did not laugh. He only stood and looked at her. "And what do you say to them when you see them?" "That's the difficult part," said Jill. "I don't quite know what to say. I've been to one widow, and she wouldn't let me in, and I've been to another, and made her cry." "And now you're looking for a third. Well, I will help you. Do you see that big house behind the trees over there? A widow lives there, and her name is Mrs. Beresford. Go and see her, and make her cry if you can." "But I don't want to make them cry," said Jill. "Will she like to see me?" "I should think she would. I should, if I were a widow." [127] "Has she any children? I want to visit some fatherless." "Happy thought! Come home and have some tea with me. I'm a fatherless creature. My father died when I was an infant." "I think," said Jill slowly, "the Bible means poor widows and fatherless. You aren't in affliction, are you?" "No," said Sir Henry. "I can hardly say I am." "Then thank you very much, but I shall have to look for some really poor people." And nothing that he could say would induce her to accompany him home. She plodded back to the village, but before she reached it, she came upon a little party of tramps who had drawn up their pony and cart by the roadside, and were eating their evening meal. They were not prepossessing in appearance. Two women, both of whom seemed careworn and down-trodden, four children, ragged and dirty, and a sullen, bad-tempered looking man. Jill looked at them with interest. One of the women had a rusty piece of crape on her bonnet. It was that which prompted Jill to speak. "Are you a widow?" she asked. The woman stared at her, but the elder one [128] of the two gave her a nudge, then answered for her. "Yes, little lady, she be, indeed; lost her por husban' a few weeks ago, an' leaves 'er with three chillen under four year. 'Ave you a copper, miss, to give 'er? for she be on her way to the 'ouse." "I'm afraid I haven't any money," said Jill, "but I'll sit down and talk to her. It's what I came out to do—to visit widows." The man eyed Jill up and down in a way that she did not much like, but she was a fearless child, and was so full of the part she meant to play that she did not think of anything else. "I suppose you are in affliction," she said, gazing sympathetically into the woman's face. "I'm so sorry for you. Do tell me which are your little children." The woman looked at Jill with dull, curious eyes. She indicated her little ones by a backward movement of her thumb. "And what house are you going to?" asked Jill. "There be only one 'ouse for the likes o' me," the woman responded bitterly; then she turned her head to watch the approach of a carriage. Jill enticed one of the small children to come [129] to her. She heard a carriage pass, but did not look up, then she was startled by her name being called, and sprang to her feet. Mona was calling her, for it was she and Miss Webb who were driving by. Mona's disgust was great at seeing a party of the lowest class of tramps sitting by the roadside, and her little sister in the midst of them. She spoke very sharply— "Come here at once, Jill! What do you mean by disgracing yourself and us so?" Jill turned to the woman politely. "I'm sorry I have to go," she said. "Good-bye." She insisted on shaking hands, then came up to the carriage-door, looking a little defiant. "Get in at once, and we will drive home. How is it, Miss Webb, that even with this immaculate Miss Falkner these children are for ever getting into scrapes?" Jill climbed into the carriage, feeling very uncomfortable under her sister's scrutiny. She was conscious that she was very heated and untidy; Mona's fresh daintiness made her feel her own deficiency in neatness. "Give me an explanation of this at once, you naughty child," said Mona peremptorily. Jill's eyes flashed. [130] "I'm not naughty," she said indignantly; "I've—I've been visiting widows." Miss Webb scented amusement. She sat up straight, and tapped Jill's knee with her pince-nez. "That's very interesting," she said. "Of course, visiting widows is not a sin. But who told you to do it? And why did you pick out a family of tramps to work off your energy upon?" Jill shut her mouth firmly. She keenly resented Miss Webb's tone of ridicule, and determined to say no more. Mona gave her a long lecture upon the dangers to which she had exposed herself in making friends with tramps, and when they reached home she was delivered over to her governess with a sharp injunction to punish her for running away, and keep her in the school-room for the rest of the evening. "So that's what I get for trying to be double good!" said poor Jill when she was in bed that night. "I never will try it again!" "Perhaps," said Bumps with wisdom beyond her years, "it wasn't quite the right way to be it!" <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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