<h3>CHAPTER IX</h3>
<h5>MR. MACKELLAR’S JOURNEY WITH THE MASTER</h5>
<p class="noind"><span class="sc">The</span> chaise came to the door in a strong drenching mist.
We took our leave in silence: the house of Durrisdeer
standing with drooping gutters and windows closed, like
a place dedicate to melancholy. I observed the Master
kept his head out, looking back on these splashed walls
and glimmering roofs, till they were suddenly swallowed
in the mist; and I must suppose some natural sadness fell
upon the man at this departure; or was it some prevision
of the end? At least, upon our mounting the long brae
from Durrisdeer, as we walked side by side in the wet, he
began first to whistle and then to sing the saddest of our
country tunes, which sets folk weeping in a tavern, “Wandering
Willie.” The set of words he used with it I have
not heard elsewhere, and could never come by any copy;
but some of them which were the most appropriate to our
departure linger in my memory. One verse began—</p>
<table class="reg" summary="poem"><tr><td>
<div class="poemr">
<p>“Home was home then, my dear, full of kindly faces;</p>
<p class="i05">Home was home then, my dear, happy for the child.”</p>
</div>
</td></tr></table>
<p class="noind">And ended somewhat thus—</p>
<table class="reg" summary="poem"><tr><td>
<div class="poemr">
<p>“Now, when day dawns on the brow of the moorland,</p>
<p class="i2">Lone stands the house, and the chimney-stone is cold,</p>
<p class="i05">Lone let it stand, now the folks are all departed,</p>
<p class="i2">The kind hearts, the true hearts, that loved the place of old.”</p>
</div>
</td></tr></table>
<p class="noind">I could never be a judge of the merit of these verses; they
were so hallowed by the melancholy of the air, and were
sung (or rather “soothed”) to me by a master-singer at a
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page176"></SPAN>176</span>
time so fitting. He looked in my face when he had done,
and saw that my eyes watered.</p>
<p>“Ah! Mackellar,” said he, “do you think I have
never a regret?”</p>
<p>“I do not think you could be so bad a man,” said I,
“if you had not all the machinery to be a good one.”</p>
<p>“No, not all,” says he: “not all. You are there in
error. The malady of not wanting, my evangelist.” But
methought he sighed as he mounted again into the
chaise.</p>
<p>All day long we journeyed in the same miserable
weather: the mist besetting us closely, the heavens incessantly
weeping on my head. The road lay over moorish
hills, where was no sound but the crying of moor-fowl in
the wet heather and the pouring of the swollen burns.
Sometimes I would doze off in slumber, when I would find
myself plunged at once in some foul and ominous nightmare,
from the which I would awake strangling. Sometimes, if
the way was steep and the wheels turning slowly, I would
overhear the voices from within, talking in that tropical
tongue which was to me as inarticulate as the piping of
the fowls. Sometimes, at a longer ascent, the Master
would set foot to ground and walk by my side, mostly
without speech. And all the time, sleeping or waking, I
beheld the same black perspective of approaching ruin;
and the same pictures rose in my view, only they were
now painted upon hill-side mist. One, I remember, stood
before me with the colours of a true illusion. It showed
me my lord seated at a table in a small room; his head,
which was at first buried in his hands, he slowly raised, and
turned upon me a countenance from which hope had fled.
I saw it first on the black window-panes, my last night
in Durrisdeer; it haunted and returned upon me half the
voyage through; and yet it was no effect of lunacy, for I
have come to a ripe old age with no decay of my intelligence;
nor yet (as I was then tempted to suppose) a heaven-sent
warning of the future, for all manner of calamities befell,
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page177"></SPAN>177</span>
not that calamity—and I saw many pitiful sights, but never
that one.</p>
<p>It was decided we should travel on all night; and it
was singular, once the dusk had fallen, my spirits somewhat
rose. The bright lamps, shining forth into the mist
and on the smoking horses and the hodding post-boy, gave
me perhaps an outlook intrinsically more cheerful than
what day had shown; or perhaps my mind had become
wearied of its melancholy. At least I spent some waking
hours, not without satisfaction in my thoughts, although
wet and weary in my body; and fell at last into a natural
slumber without dreams. Yet I must have been at work
even in the deepest of my sleep; and at work with at
least a measure of intelligence. For I started broad
awake, in the very act of crying out to myself</p>
<p class="center f90">“Home was home then, my dear, happy for the child.”</p>
<p>stricken to find in it an appropriateness, which I had not
yesterday observed, to the Master’s detestable purpose in
the present journey.</p>
<p>We were then close upon the city of Glascow, where
we were soon breakfasting together at an inn, and where
(as the devil would have it) we found a ship in the very
article of sailing. We took our places in the cabin; and,
two days after, carried our effects on board. Her name
was the <i>Nonesuch</i>, a very ancient ship, and very happily
named. By all accounts this should be her last voyage;
people shook their heads upon the quays, and I had several
warnings offered me by strangers in the street to the effect
that she was rotten as a cheese, too deeply loaden, and
must infallibly founder if we met a gale. From this it
fell out we were the only passengers; the Captain, M’Murtrie,
was a silent, absorbed man, with the Glascow or Gaelic
accent; the mates ignorant rough seafarers, come in
through the hawsehole; and the Master and I were cast
upon each other’s company.</p>
<p>The <i>Nonesuch</i> carried a fair wind out of the Clyde, and
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page178"></SPAN>178</span>
for near upon a week we enjoyed bright weather and a
sense of progress. I found myself (to my wonder) a born
seaman, in so far at least as I was never sick; yet I was far
from tasting the usual serenity of my health. Whether
it was the motion of the ship on the billows, the confinement,
the salted food, or all of these together, I suffered
from a blackness of spirit and a painful strain upon my
temper. The nature of my errand on that ship perhaps
contributed; I think it did no more; the malady (whatever
it was) sprang from my environment; and if the ship
were not to blame, then it was the Master. Hatred and
fear are ill bed-fellows; but (to my shame be it spoken)
I have tasted those in other places, lain down and got up
with them, and eaten and drunk with them, and yet never
before, nor after, have I been so poisoned through and
through, in soul and body, as I was on board the <i>Nonesuch</i>.
I freely confess my enemy set me a fair example of forbearance;
in our worst days displayed the most patient
geniality, holding me in conversation as long as I would
suffer, and when I had rebuffed his civility, stretching
himself on deck to read. The book he had on board with
him was Mr. Richardson’s famous “Clarissa,” and among
other small attentions he would read me passages aloud;
nor could any elocutionist have given with greater potency
the pathetic portions of that work. I would retort upon
him with passages out of the Bible, which was all my
library—and very fresh to me, my religious duties (I
grieve to say it) being always and even to this day extremely
neglected. He tasted the merits of the work like
the connoisseur he was; and would sometimes take it from
my hand, turn the leaves over like a man that knew his
way, and give me, with his fine declamation, a Roland for
my Oliver. But it was singular how little he applied his
reading to himself; it passed high above his head like
summer thunder; Lovelace and Clarissa, the tales of
David’s generosity, the psalms of his penitence, the solemn
questions of the Book of Job, the touching poetry of
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page179"></SPAN>179</span>
Isaiah—they were to him a source of entertainment only,
like the scraping of a fiddle in a change-house. This outer
sensibility and inner toughness set me against him; it
seemed of a piece with that impudent grossness which I
knew to underlie the veneer of his fine manners; and
sometimes my gorge rose against him as though he were
deformed—and sometimes I would draw away as though
from something partly spectral. I had moments when I
thought of him as of a man of pasteboard—as though, if
one should strike smartly through the buckram of his
countenance, there would be found a mere vacuity within.
This horror (not merely fanciful, I think) vastly increased
my detestation of his neighbourhood; I began to feel
something shiver within me on his drawing near; I had
at times a longing to cry out; there were days when I
thought I could have struck him. This frame of mind
was doubtless helped by shame, because I had dropped
during our last days at Durrisdeer into a certain toleration
of the man; and if any one had then told me I should
drop into it again, I must have laughed in his face. It is
possible he remained unconscious of this extreme fever of
my resentment; yet I think he was too quick; and rather
that he had fallen, in a long life of idleness, into a positive
need of company, which obliged him to confront and
tolerate my unconcealed aversion. Certain, at least,
that he loved the note of his own tongue, as, indeed, he
entirely loved all the parts and properties of himself; a
sort of imbecility which almost necessarily attends on
wickedness. I have seen him driven, when I proved
recalcitrant, to long discourses with the skipper; and this,
although the man plainly testified his weariness, fiddling
miserably with both hand and foot, and replying only
with a grunt.</p>
<p>After the first week out we fell in with foul winds and
heavy weather. The sea was high. The <i>Nonesuch</i> being
an old-fashioned ship, and badly loaden, rolled beyond
belief; so that the skipper trembled for his masts, and
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page180"></SPAN>180</span>
I for my life. We made no progress on our course. An
unbearable ill-humour settled on the ship: men, mates,
and master, girding at one another all day long. A saucy
word on the one hand, and a blow on the other, made a
daily incident. There were times when the whole crew
refused their duty; and we of the afterguard were twice
got under arms—being the first time that ever I bore
weapons—in the fear of mutiny.</p>
<p>In the midst of our evil season sprang up a hurricane
of wind; so that all supposed she must go down. I was
shut in the cabin from noon of one day till sundown of
the next; the Master was somewhere lashed on deck;
Secundra had eaten of some drug and lay insensible; so
you may say I passed these hours in an unbroken solitude.
At first I was terrified beyond motion, and almost beyond
thought, my mind appearing to be frozen. Presently
there stole in on me a ray of comfort. If the <i>Nonesuch</i>
foundered, she would carry down with her into the deeps
of that unsounded sea the creature whom we all so feared
and hated; there would be no more Master of Ballantrae,
the fish would sport among his ribs; his schemes all
brought to nothing, his harmless enemies at peace. At
first, I have said, it was but a ray of comfort; but it had
soon grown to be broad sunshine. The thought of the
man’s death, of his deletion from this world, which he
embittered for so many, took possession of my mind. I
hugged it, I found it sweet in my belly. I conceived the
ship’s last plunge, the sea bursting upon all sides into the
cabin, the brief mortal conflict there, all by myself, in that
closed place; I numbered the horrors, I had almost said
with satisfaction; I felt I could bear all and more, if the
<i>Nonesuch</i> carried down with her, overtook by the same
ruin, the enemy of my poor master’s house. Towards
noon of the second day the screaming of the wind abated;
the ship lay not so perilously over, and it began to be
clear to me that we were past the height of the tempest.
As I hope for mercy, I was singly disappointed. In the
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page181"></SPAN>181</span>
selfishness of that vile, absorbing passion of hatred, I
forgot the case of our innocent shipmates, and thought
but of myself and my enemy. For myself, I was already
old; I had never been young, I was not formed for the
world’s pleasures, I had few affections; it mattered not
the toss of a silver tester whether I was drowned there and
then in the Atlantic, or dribbled out a few more years, to
die, perhaps no less terribly, in a deserted sick-bed. Down
I went upon my knees—holding on by the locker, or else
I had been instantly dashed across the tossing cabin—and,
lifting up my voice in the midst of that clamour of the
abating hurricane, impiously prayed for my own death.
“O God!” I cried, “I would be liker a man if I rose
and struck this creature down; but Thou madest me a
coward from my mother’s womb. O Lord, Thou madest
me so, Thou knowest my weakness, Thou knowest that
any face of death will set me shaking in my shoes. But,
lo! here is Thy servant ready, his mortal weakness laid
aside. Let me give my life for this creature’s; take the
two of them, Lord! take the two, and have mercy on the
innocent!” In some such words as these, only yet more
irreverent and with more sacred adjurations, I continued
to pour forth my spirit. God heard me not, I must suppose
in mercy; and I was still absorbed in my agony of supplication
when some one, removing the tarpaulin cover, let
the light of the sunset pour into the cabin. I stumbled
to my feet ashamed, and was seized with surprise to find
myself totter and ache like one that had been stretched
upon the rack. Secundra Dass, who had slept off the effects
of his drug, stood in a corner not far off, gazing at me with
wild eyes; and from the open skylight the captain thanked
me for my supplications.</p>
<p>“It’s you that saved the ship, Mr. Mackellar,” says he.
“There is no craft of seamanship that could have kept her
floating: well may we say, ‘Except the Lord the city
keep, the watchmen watch in vain’!”</p>
<p>I was abashed by the captain’s error; abashed, also,
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page182"></SPAN>182</span>
by the surprise and fear with which the Indian regarded
me at first, and the obsequious civilities with which he
soon began to cumber me. I know now that he must have
overheard and comprehended the peculiar nature of my
prayers. It is certain, of course, that he at once disclosed
the matter to his patron; and looking back with greater
knowledge, I can now understand what so much puzzled
me at the moment, those singular and (so to speak) approving
smiles with which the Master honoured me. Similarly,
I can understand a word that I remember to have fallen
from him in conversation that same night; when, holding
up his hand and smiling, “Ah! Mackellar,” said he, “not
every man is so great a coward as he thinks he is—nor yet
so good a Christian.” He did not guess how true he spoke!
For the fact is, the thoughts which had come to me in the
violence of the storm retained their hold upon my spirit;
and the words that rose to my lips unbidden in the instancy
of prayer continued to sound in my ears: with what
shameful consequences it is fitting I should honestly relate;
for I could not support a part of such disloyalty as to
describe the sins of others and conceal my own.</p>
<p>The wind fell, but the sea hove ever the higher. All
night the <i>Nonesuch</i> rolled outrageously; the next day
dawned, and the next, and brought no change. To cross
the cabin was scarce possible; old experienced seamen
were cast down upon the deck, and one cruelly mauled in
the concussion; every board and block in the old ship
cried out aloud; and the great bell by the anchor-bitts
continually and dolefully rang. One of these days the
Master and I sate alone together at the break of the poop.
I should say the <i>Nonesuch</i> carried a high, raised poop.
About the top of it ran considerable bulwarks, which made
the ship unweatherly: and these, as they approached the
front on each side, ran down in a fine, old-fashioned, carven
scroll to join the bulwarks of the waist. From this disposition,
which seems designed rather for ornament than
use, it followed there was a discontinuance of protection:
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page183"></SPAN>183</span>
and that, besides, at the very margin of the elevated part
where (in certain movements of the ship) it might be the
most needful. It was here we were sitting: our feet
hanging down, the Master betwixt me and the side, and I
holding on with both hands to the grating of the cabin
skylight; for it struck me it was a dangerous position, the
more so as I had continually before my eyes a measure of
our evolutions in the person of the Master, which stood
out in the break of the bulwarks against the sun. Now
his head would be in the zenith and his shadow fall quite
beyond the <i>Nonesuch</i> on the farther side; and now he
would swing down till he was underneath my feet, and the
line of the sea leaped high above him like the ceiling of
a room. I looked on upon this with a growing fascination,
as birds are said to look on snakes. My mind, besides, was
troubled with an astonishing diversity of noises; for now
that we had all sails spread in the vain hope to bring her
to the sea, the ship sounded like a factory with their reverberations.
We spoke first of the mutiny with which we
had been threatened; this led us on to the topic of assassination;
and that offered a temptation to the Master
more strong than he was able to resist. He must tell me
a tale, and show me at the same time how clever he was,
and how wicked. It was a thing he did always with affectation
and display; generally with a good effect. But
this tale, told in a high key in the midst of so great a tumult,
and by a narrator who was one moment looking down at
me from the skies and the next peering up from under the
soles of my feet—this particular tale, I say, took hold upon
me in a degree quite singular.</p>
<p>“My friend the count,” it was thus that he began his
story, “had for an enemy a certain German baron, a
stranger in Rome. It matters not what was the ground of
the count’s enmity; but as he had a firm design to be
revenged, and that with safety to himself, he kept it secret
even from the baron. Indeed, that is the first principle of
vengeance; and hatred betrayed is hatred impotent. The
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page184"></SPAN>184</span>
count was a man of a curious, searching mind; he had
something of the artist; if anything fell for him to do, it
must always be done with an exact perfection, not only
as to the result, but in the very means and instruments,
or he thought the thing miscarried. It chanced he was
one day riding in the outer suburbs, when he came to a
disused by-road branching off into the moor which lies
about Rome. On the one hand was an ancient Roman
tomb; on the other a deserted house in a garden of evergreen
trees. This road brought him presently into a field
of ruins, in the midst of which, in the side of a hill, he saw
an open door, and, not far off, a single stunted pine no
greater than a currant-bush. The place was desert and
very secret; a voice spoke in the count’s bosom that there
was something here to his advantage. He tied his horse
to the pine-tree, took his flint and steel in his hand to make
a light, and entered into the hill. The doorway opened on
a passage of old Roman masonry, which shortly after
branched in two. The count took the turning to the right,
and followed it, groping forward in the dark, till he was
brought up by a kind of fence, about elbow-high, which
extended quite across the passage. Sounding forward
with his foot, he found an edge of polished stone, and then
vacancy. All his curiosity was now awakened, and, getting
some rotten sticks that lay about the floor, he made a fire.
In front of him was a profound well; doubtless some neighbouring
peasant had once used it for his water, and it was
he that had set up the fence. A long while the count
stood leaning on the rail and looking down into the pit.
It was of Roman foundation, and, like all that nation set
their hands to, built as for eternity; the sides were still
straight, and the joints smooth; to a man who should
fall in, no escape was possible. ‘Now,’ the count was
thinking, ‘a strong impulsion brought me to this place.
What for? what have I gained? why should I be sent
to gaze into this well?’ when the rail of the fence gave
suddenly under his weight, and he came within an ace of
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page185"></SPAN>185</span>
falling headlong in. Leaping back to save himself, he
trod out the last flicker of his fire, which gave him thenceforward
no more light, only an incommoding smoke.
‘Was I sent here to my death?’ says he, and shook from
head to foot. And then a thought flashed in his mind.
He crept forth on hands and knees to the brink of the pit,
and felt above him in the air. The rail had been fast to
a pair of uprights; it had only broken from the one, and
still depended from the other. The count set it back again
as he had found it, so that the place meant death to the
first comer, and groped out of the catacomb like a sick man.
The next day, riding in the Corso with the baron, he purposely
betrayed a strong preoccupation. The other (as
he had designed) inquired into the cause; and he, after
some fencing, admitted that his spirits had been dashed
by an unusual dream. This was calculated to draw on
the baron—a superstitious man, who affected the scorn of
superstition. Some rallying followed, and then the count,
as if suddenly carried away, called on his friend to beware,
for it was of him that he had dreamed. You know enough of
human nature, my excellent Mackellar, to be certain of one
thing: I mean that the baron did not rest till he had heard
the dream. The count, sure that he would never desist,
kept him in play till his curiosity was highly inflamed, and
then suffered himself, with seeming reluctance, to be overborne.
‘I warn you,’ says he, ‘evil will come of it;
something tells me so. But since there is to be no peace
either for you or me except on this condition, the blame
be on your own head! This was the dream:—I beheld
you riding, I know not where, yet I think it must have been
near Rome, for on your one hand was an ancient tomb,
and on the other a garden of evergreen trees. Methought
I cried and cried upon you to come back in a very agony
of terror; whether you heard me I know not, but you
went doggedly on. The road brought you to a desert
place among ruins, where was a door in a hill-side, and
hard by the door a misbegotten pine. Here you dismounted
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page186"></SPAN>186</span>
(I still crying on you to beware), tied your horse
to the pine-tree, and entered resolutely in by the door.
Within, it was dark; but in my dream I could still see
you, and still besought you to hold back. You felt your
way along the right-hand wall, took a branching passage
to the right, and came to a little chamber, where was a
well with a railing. At this—I know not why—my alarm
for you increased a thousandfold, so that I seemed to
scream myself hoarse with warnings, crying it was still
time, and bidding you begone at once from that vestibule.
Such was the word I used in my dream, and it seemed
then to have a clear significancy; but to-day, and awake,
I profess I know not what it means. To all my outcry
you rendered not the least attention, leaning the while
upon the rail and looking down intently in the water.
And then there was made to you a communication; I do
not think I even gathered what it was, but the fear of it
plucked me clean out of my slumber, and I awoke shaking
and sobbing. And now,’ continues the count, ‘I thank
you from my heart for your insistency. This dream lay
on me like a load; and now I have told it in plain words
and in the broad daylight, it seems no great matter.’—‘I
do not know,’ says the baron. ‘It is in some points
strange. A communication, did you say! O! it is an
odd dream. It will make a story to amuse our friends.’—‘I
am not so sure,’ says the count. ‘I am sensible of
some reluctancy. Let us rather forget it.’—‘By all
means,’ says the baron. And (in fact) the dream was not
again referred to. Some days after, the count proposed a
ride in the fields, which the baron (since they were daily
growing faster friends) very readily accepted. On the way
back to Rome, the count led them insensibly by a particular
route. Presently he reined in his horse, clapped his hand
before his eyes, and cried out aloud. Then he showed his
face again (which was now quite white, for he was a consummate
actor), and stared upon the baron. ‘What ails
you?’ cries the baron. ‘What is wrong with you?’—‘Nothing,’
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page187"></SPAN>187</span>
cries the count. ‘It is nothing. A seizure,
I know not what. Let us hurry back to Rome.’ But
in the meanwhile the baron had looked about him; and
there, on the left-hand side of the way as they went back
to Rome, he saw a dusty by-road with a tomb upon the
one hand and a garden of evergreen trees upon the other.—‘Yes,’
says he, with a changed voice. ‘Let us by all
means hurry back to Rome. I fear you are not well in
health.’—‘O, for God’s sake!’ cried the count, shuddering,
‘back to Rome and let me get to bed.’ They made
their return with scarce a word; and the count, who should
by rights have gone into society, took to his bed and gave
out he had a touch of country fever. The next day the
baron’s horse was found tied to the pine, but himself was
never heard of from that hour.—And now, was that a
murder?” says the Master, breaking sharply off.</p>
<p>“Are you sure he was a count?” I asked.</p>
<p>“I am not certain of the title,” said he, “but he was
a gentleman of family: and the Lord deliver you, Mackellar,
from an enemy so subtile!”</p>
<p>These last words he spoke down at me, smiling from
high above; the next, he was under my feet. I continued
to follow his evolutions with a childish fixity: they made
me giddy and vacant, and I spoke as in a dream.</p>
<p>“He hated the baron with a great hatred?” I asked.</p>
<p>“His belly moved when the man came near him,” said
the Master.</p>
<p>“I have felt that same,” said I.</p>
<p>“Verily!” cries the Master. “Here is news indeed!
I wonder—do I flatter myself? or am I the cause of these
ventral perturbations?”</p>
<p>He was quite capable of choosing out a graceful posture,
even with no one to behold him but myself, and all the
more if there were any element of peril. He sat now with
one knee flung across the other, his arms on his bosom,
fitting the swing of the ship with an exquisite balance,
such as a featherweight might overthrow. All at once I
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page188"></SPAN>188</span>
had the vision of my lord at the table, with his head upon
his hands; only now, when he showed me his countenance,
it was heavy with reproach. The words of my own prayer—<i>I
were liker a man if I struck this creature down</i>—shot at
the same time into my memory. I called my energies
together, and (the ship then heeling downward toward my
enemy) thrust at him swiftly with my foot. It was written
I should have the guilt of this attempt without the profit.
Whether from my own uncertainty or his incredible quickness,
he escaped the thrust, leaping to his feet and catching
hold at the same moment of a stay.</p>
<p>I do not know how long a time passed by: I lying
where I was upon the deck, overcome with terror and remorse
and shame: he standing with the stay in his hand,
backed against the bulwarks, and regarding me with an
expression singularly mingled. At last he spoke.</p>
<p>“Mackellar,” said he, “I make no reproaches, but I
offer you a bargain. On your side, I do not suppose you
desire to have this exploit made public; on mine, I own
to you freely I do not care to draw my breath in a perpetual
terror of assassination by the man I sit at meat with.
Promise me—but no,” says he, breaking off, “you are not
yet in the quiet possession of your mind; you might think
I had extorted the promise from your weakness; and I
would leave no door open for casuistry to come in—that
dishonesty of the conscientious. Take time to
meditate.”</p>
<p>With that he made off up the sliding deck like a squirrel,
and plunged into the cabin. About half an hour later he
returned—I still lying as he had left me.</p>
<p>“Now,” says he, “will you give me your troth as a
Christian, and a faithful servant of my brother’s, that I
shall have no more to fear from your attempts?”</p>
<p>“I give it you,” said I.</p>
<p>“I shall require your hand upon it,” says he.</p>
<p>“You have the right to make conditions,” I replied,
and we shook hands.
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page189"></SPAN>189</span></p>
<p>He sat down at once in the same place and the old
perilous attitude.</p>
<p>“Hold on!” cried I, covering my eyes. “I cannot
bear to see you in that posture. The least irregularity of
the sea might plunge you overboard.”</p>
<p>“You are highly inconsistent,” he replied, smiling, but
doing as I asked. “For all that, Mackellar, I would have
you to know you have risen forty feet in my esteem. You
think I cannot set a price upon fidelity? But why do you
suppose I carry that Secundra Dass about the world with
me? Because he would die or do murder for me to-morrow;
and I love him for it. Well, you may think it odd, but
I like you the better for this afternoon. I thought you
were magnetised with the Ten Commandments; but no—God
damn my soul!”—he cries, “the old wife has blood
in his body after all! Which does not change the fact,”
he continued, smiling again, “that you have done well to
give your promise; for I doubt if you would ever shine in
your new trade.”</p>
<p>“I suppose,” said I, “I should ask your pardon and
God’s for my attempt. At any rate, I have passed my
word, which I will keep faithfully. But when I think of
those you persecute——” I paused.</p>
<p>“Life is a singular thing,” said he, “and mankind a
very singular people. You suppose yourself to love my
brother. I assure you, it is merely custom. Interrogate
your memory; and when first you came to Durrisdeer,
you will find you considered him a dull, ordinary youth.
He is as dull and ordinary now, though not so young.
Had you instead fallen in with me, you would to-day be
as strong upon my side.”</p>
<p>“I would never say you were ordinary, Mr. Bally,” I
returned; “but here you prove yourself dull. You have
just shown your reliance on my word—in other terms, that
is, my conscience—the same which starts instinctively back
from you, like the eye from a strong light.”</p>
<p>“Ah!” says he, “but I mean otherwise. I mean, had
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page190"></SPAN>190</span>
I met you in my youth. You are to consider I was not
always as I am to-day; nor (had I met in with a friend of
your description) should I have ever been so.”</p>
<p>“Hut, Mr. Bally,” says I, “you would have made a
mock of me; you would never have spent ten civil words
on such a Square-toes.”</p>
<p>But he was now fairly started on his new course of
justification, with which he wearied me throughout the
remainder of the passage. No doubt in the past he had
taken pleasure to paint himself unnecessarily black, and
made a vaunt of his wickedness, bearing it for a coat-of-arms.
Nor was he so illogical as to abate one item of his old confessions.
“But now that I know you are a human being,”
he would say, “I can take the trouble to explain myself.
For I assure you I am human too, and have my virtues
like my neighbours.” I say, he wearied me, for I had only
the one word to say in answer: twenty times I must have
said it: “Give up your present purpose and return with me
to Durrisdeer: then I will believe you.”</p>
<p>Thereupon he would shake his head at me. “Ah!
Mackellar, you might live a thousand years and never
understand my nature,” he would say. “This battle is
now committed, the hour of reflection quite past, the hour
for mercy not yet come. It began between us when we
span a coin in the hall of Durrisdeer, now twenty years
ago; we have had our ups and downs, but never either
of us dreamed of giving in; and as for me, when my glove
is cast, life and honour go with it.”</p>
<p>“A fig for your honour!” I would say. “And by
your leave, these warlike similitudes are something too
high-sounding for the matter in hand. You want some
dirty money; there is the bottom of your contention;
and as for your means, what are they? to stir up sorrow
in a family that never harmed you, to debauch (if you
can) your own nephew, and to wring the heart of your
born brother! A footpad that kills an old granny in
a woollen mutch with a dirty bludgeon, and that for a
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page191"></SPAN>191</span>
shilling-piece and a paper of snuff—there is all the warrior
that you are.”</p>
<p>When I would attack him thus (or somewhat thus) he
would smile, and sigh like a man misunderstood. Once,
I remember, he defended himself more at large and had
some curious sophistries, worth repeating, for a light upon
his character.</p>
<p>“You are very like a civilian to think war consists in
drums and banners,” said he. “War (as the ancients said
very wisely) is <i>ultima ratio</i>. When we take our advantage
unrelentingly, then we make war. Ah! Mackellar, you
are a devil of a soldier in the steward’s room at Durrisdeer,
or the tenants do you sad injustice!”</p>
<p>“I think little of what war is or is not,” I replied.
“But you weary me with claiming my respect. Your
brother is a good man, and you are a bad one—neither
more nor less.”</p>
<p>“Had I been Alexander——” he began.</p>
<p>“It is so we all dupe ourselves,” I cried. “Had I been
St. Paul, it would have been all one; I would have made
the same hash of that career that you now see me making
of my own.”</p>
<p>“I tell you,” he cried, bearing down my interruption,
“had I been the least petty chieftain in the Highlands,
had I been the least king of naked negroes in the African
desert, my people would have adored me. A bad man,
am I? Ah! but I was born for a good tyrant! Ask
Secundra Dass; he will tell you I treat him like a son.
Cast in your lot with me to-morrow, become my slave, my
chattel, a thing I can command as I command the powers
of my own limbs and spirit—you will see no more that
dark side that I turn upon the world in anger. I must have
all or none. But where all is given I give it back with
usury. I have a kingly nature: there is my loss!”</p>
<p>“It has been hitherto rather the loss of others,” I
remarked, “which seems a little on the hither side of
royalty.”
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page192"></SPAN>192</span></p>
<p>“Tilly-vally!” cried he. “Even now, I tell you, I
would spare that family in which you take so great an
interest: yes, even now—to-morrow I would leave them
to their petty welfare, and disappear in that forest of cut-throats
and thimble-riggers that we call the world. I
would do it to-morrow!” says he. “Only—only——”</p>
<p>“Only what?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Only they must beg it on their bended knees. I think
in public, too,” he added, smiling. “Indeed, Mackellar,
I doubt if there be a hall big enough to serve my purpose
for that act of reparation.”</p>
<p>“Vanity, vanity!” I moralised. “To think that this
great force for evil should be swayed by the same sentiment
that sets a lassie mincing to her glass!”</p>
<p>“O! there are double words for everything: the word
that swells, the word that belittles; you cannot fight me
with a word!” said he. “You said the other day that
I relied on your conscience: were I in your humour of
detraction, I might say I built upon your vanity. It is
your pretension to be <i>un homme de parole</i>; ’tis mine not
to accept defeat. Call it vanity, call it virtue, call it greatness
of soul—what signifies the expression? But recognise
in each of us a common strain: that we both live for an
idea.”</p>
<p>It will be gathered from so much familiar talk, and so
much patience on both sides, that we now lived together
upon excellent terms. Such was again the fact, and this
time more seriously than before. Apart from disputations
such as that which I have tried to reproduce, not only
consideration reigned, but, I am tempted to say, even
kindness. When I fell sick (as I did shortly after our
great storm), he sat by my berth to entertain me with his
conversation, and treated me with excellent remedies,
which I accepted with security. Himself commented on
the circumstance. “You see,” says he, “you begin to
know me better. A very little while ago, upon this lonely
ship, where no one but myself has any smattering of
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page193"></SPAN>193</span>
science, you would have made sure I had designs upon
your life. And, observe, it is since I found you had designs
upon my own that I have shown you most respect. You
will tell me if this speaks of a small mind.” I found little
to reply. In so far as regarded myself, I believed him to
mean well; I am, perhaps, the more a dupe of his dissimulation,
but I believed (and I still believe) that he regarded
me with genuine kindness. Singular and sad fact! so
soon as this change began, my animosity abated, and these
haunting visions of my master passed utterly away. So
that, perhaps, there was truth in the man’s last vaunting
word to me, uttered on the twenty-second day of July, when
our long voyage was at last brought almost to an end,
and we lay becalmed at the sea end of the vast harbour of
New York, in a gasping heat, which was presently exchanged
for a surprising waterfall of rain. I stood on the poop,
regarding the green shores near at hand, and now and
then the light smoke of the little town, our destination.
And as I was even then devising how to steal a march on
my familiar enemy, I was conscious of a shade of embarrassment
when he approached me with his hand
extended.</p>
<p>“I am now to bid you farewell,” said he, “and that
for ever. For now you go among my enemies, where all
your former prejudices will revive. I never yet failed to
charm a person when I wanted; even you, my good friend—to
call you so for once—even you have now a very different
portrait of me in your memory, and one that you will never
quite forget. The voyage has not lasted long enough, or
I should have wrote the impression deeper. But now all
is at an end, and we are again at war. Judge by this little
interlude how dangerous I am; and tell those fools”—pointing
with his finger to the town—“to think twice and
thrice before they set me at defiance.”</p>
<hr class="art" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page194"></SPAN>194</span></p>
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